Simply Me

I look at the blogs other people around the whole world keep updated and I have to admit; they sound so refined and educated. It almost makes me feel bad for posting up everyday in this style of language that is nothing compared to theirs. They sound so inspirational and they know what they want to say and how to express that. I’m not.

Maybe it’s because I’m just too ordinary when it comes to expressing my feelings. πŸ˜› I like to use simple words to express the way I feel. Simple meanings that simply mean what I want to say. When I say I love you… I do love you.

I wasn’t always this way though. I wrote poems using ‘highly educated’-sounding meanings and words. I couldn’t do it though without reading a few classics beforehand. I couldn’t tell a person how much I really cared by just saying that I cared. I had to use poems and songs that somehow didn’t include the words I really wanted to scream out. I had to make the person notice how much time and effort I had put in to write something like I did. Using metaphors and let the person figure it out.

I did that, because I wanted that person to put some effort as well to understand the poem or song. I saw no use in expressing myself without having another person to be amazed about it when they finally get the meaning of it. I don’t do that anymore though. I no longer write poems and I no longer write songs. When I want to express myself; I write in my blog or I’ll just tell the people around me. Using slangs like ‘crap’ or daily used sentences like ‘I’m lost’. No longer ‘Oh my’ or ‘I’m just like the sand with no wind to guide me into the right direction.’

I don’t know whether it’s just growing up or because of the things I’ve gone through, but I’ve changed a lot. I can’t describe it though. My friend told me one time, I even changed too much. I think my heart skipped a beat when she said that. I never realized, but my vision about life has changed so much. I always wanted to be outstanding; in everything. I dreamed of being successful with at least two houses and a husband who would not smoke, drink, go out, gamble or have any other addictions that may give me worries. I wanted my wedding to be as big as possible, at least a couple hundred guests, with an expensive dress and fancy food.
Now, I don’t even like the ideas anymore and I don’t even want to be part of such a life. To me, it’s all such a hassle. I’d rather have it all simple. Not meaning I don’t want to be successful; but being successful has many levels.


2 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    TkN said,

    Change is inevitable. πŸ™‚

    It matters not how you express your thoughts and ideas, so long as they get across. πŸ™‚ Words are less important than meanings. πŸ™‚

  2. 2

    butterflycharlie said,

    for someone so young your writing and expressions are wonderful; dont worry about cliches, there is more beauty, understanding and the ability to relate with simplicity. When I first started my blog I wrote a post not too dissimilar to this in fact. It doesnt matter what you write or how you write it, as long as its YOU.

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