Reminisce

We were in our pyjamas, dressing up like Power Rangers. I was pink and she was yellow. We fought bad people to save the world from being taken over by the evil ones. We were on our bare feet, running around the house pretending to hide from the attack of the enemy. The pyjamas wasn’t mine, it was hers. I didn’t have any pink clothes and so she suggested me to wear hers. “Just put it on”, were her exact words.

As we grew tired of Power Rangers, another version of “a group of friend trying to save the world with superpowers” was on the telly. One was blue, the other was green and the girl was red. The other two were boys. She always wanted to be red, because it was a girl. I was obsessed with blue and so I didn’t mind pretending to be a guy – after all, I had the coolest power in my opinion.
I pretend like I could move objects with just putting my index and middle finger together pointing at an object. She tried to move big rocks and heavy stuff – her power was strength. We played hours and hours endlessly. We just loved it.

As we grow older and the time of Power Rangers and Dragon Ball Z were behind us, we went to something more ‘grown-up’ – We sang karaoke.
I wasn’t very good at singing and I knew that. I tried to sing just soft enough that you would hear my mumbling underneath her voice, but not quite hard enough to recognise it. She, on the other hand, sang her lungs out. She practised and practised, till her throat gets soar. Because she wanted to become a singer; somewhere out there in America, making it big.
I didn’t. – No, life was way too complicated and ‘out there’ for me.
I wanted to be successful; rich, but not fascinated by the thought of glitter and glamour. Instead, I thought of becoming a business woman. At least, a woman in a suite. I didn’t care for what kind of profession; I had to become someone who wears a suite, as I thought it demands respect and admiration. And ironically, even though my creative mind led me to think of many other professions, I still end up wanting to be what I wanted to be: that woman in a suite; a business woman.

As time passes by, 10 years is how far we’ve made it so far. We no longer sing along to karaoke or watch Power Rangers or Totally Spies. We just talk about them; reminiscing them in the most beautiful way we can. We can’t run around like kids anymore, because we are not. No matter how young 16 may sound, it seems it’s never too early for responsibilities, heavily resting on our shoulders.

We keep reminding ourselves those times of carefree days and hopeful dreams; we thought they would never end. Those times we could sit in the sun and wait for the clouds to slowly take over the sky, like we know that day will come.

Happy times, but as well as sad times. We cannot avoid any conflicts between us over these ten years. There were times our friendship was put on low fire and for a moment I thought it done. Then she would call me cheerfully, acting like nothing happened.

She hurt me much and I hurt her. Something we cannot avoid when we both know we both mean a lot to one another. It was because we cared. The opposite of love is indifference right? Because if you hate you still care. We do care.

Those times seem to have gone by so fast, almost too fast for me to even stop for a second and realise: this is where we are. There is no turning back as we cannot turn back time.

I feel sorry that I couldn’t be the greatest friend I could’ve been. I took her for granted somehow while I was eager to be the best for everyone else, assuming she would always be there. Because she always was.

I, this friend of her, regret for not making the best out of our friendship when we could still reminisce together.

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