Deep Fall

Sometimes I believe it’s better to just not feel anything. To be totally numb. Don’t  they say that once you’ve been hurt too much, that you won’t feel any more pain?

I would want that. No because I’m afraid of pain or feel like I’ve had enough of pain. No, that’s really not it. It’s feels good to feel pain, because once there is joy; the feeling is even greater than it actually is. It’s like how I love chaos. That adrenaline once I know I have no time left and everything seems to go wrong. Once I’ve finished what I should, the end result gives me the biggest joy.

No.. I want to feel nothing, because I’m afraid of fear. I’m afraid of falling. Once there’s no fear of falling, no fear of fear… I can do everything in the world. I can spread my arms like that and just take that deep fall without even hesitating.

But then again.. pain is just that cause for the fear.

Advertisements

2 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    thelittleredwriter said,

    “Don’t they say that once you’ve been hurt too much, that you won’t feel any more pain?”

    Pretty sure that isn’t true.

    And the best way to work with fear, even pain, is making it one of your motivators. My opinon anyway.

  2. 2

    There are people who turn bitter once they’ve been through some rough time, no longer believing in the things they did before. That’s what I meant by feeling no more pain. Turning numb once you’ve felt so much pain that one more blow doesn’t have much affect.

    And I agree with you that the best way to work with fear is to make it your drive to do things. Still, it’s easier to say that just now than to actually do it.


Comment RSS · TrackBack URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: